Why?

The question I ask myself most of the time is why? Why do I care about so many things that most people just seem to blatantly ignore? Why I do waste time on things that ultimately appear to do me harm but actually may be neutral?

To be honest, despite how far I feel I've come... I still ask those same questions but I try to approach the answers in a less cynical way.

For example, the past few months I have been wondering why I made a certain decision that has turned out so ill for me. I have mentally gone through all the answers and realized that patterns of behavior and thinking change and some don't even consciously register. I made a bad decision. It's technically that plain and simple. Yes, there were environmental/outside factors that ultimately ruined the potential outcome the decision could have had but either way the decision would have probably turned out ill-fated due to neglected or over-looked facts on MY part.

Sadly, this is the case for a lot of decisions people make. They don't turn out the way you expected or want but what happens is -- in the end -- you must live with your choices. Either you can wallow, normalize the situation, try to understand every aspect, or completely move on altogether.

^^ Buttttt it's never that easy. Usually you want to do all of those things because well, at one time or another, they all feel good or bad (depending on the time). For that exact reason, I no longer give advice. I like to just listen and interpret without trying to intrude (when possible, I'm still human!). I know what it is to want to wallow, make the situation feel normal, understand it, and move on .... and I also know what it is to have people tell you what to do and how to feel.... most of the time it gets me angry. I know most of the time is gets others angry, so its best to avoid that.

For a long time I failed to realize that listening and trying to understand people without trying to give controlling advice (especially unwarranted and misunderstood advice) was the best route to eventually help others and yourself. It's a complicated process and I am still trying to figure out my way through it because I DO want to help others and it IS frustrating to feel like others don't want to help themselves. However, life is about growth and just like all other variants, its going to be different for everyone. That's a hard thing to come to grips with (however, it should not be used as a crutch or an excuse).